I’m not sure if it’s clear from the picture, but that pumpkin is growing in an azalea bush. For real. No idea how long that one will pan out, because I’m sure the pumpkin will get too heavy and the vine will drop it. But I admire its determination.

That fighter is one of the front yard pumpkins who underwent the crazy bypass procedure I pioneered last month (I bet I didn’t invent it, I just wanted to say that). And now he’s one of two pumpkins in the front – I’m so happy to have them both. No idea what our pumpkin count is up to now – but maybe I should add something on the sidebar so we can track it, hmm?

Anyway, this stubborn little guy cracks me up. He’s determined to exist though – just like I was determined to bring pumpkins into existence by planting them all over the yard. So I think we make a good team. He needs a really, really good name, and I’m starting to run out of those. I’ll have to think it over and get back to you.

My week is full of pulling together everything for the Queen of the Pirates’ bridal shower on Saturday.  It’s a fun job, and I enjoy making lists and crossing things off and making new lists and laying everything out and looking at it and then putting it all neatly away. Right now my dining room table is covered in tea cups. Almost 40 of them. My mother rarely gets rid of anything (“Why would I get rid of china?” the Empress Dowager asks, incredulous at the thought). I am all smiles, picturing the darling little tags I have for each guest so she can tell her teacup apart from her friends’ teacups.

But all of these delightful preparations are coupled with an ominous weight on my shoulders.  My grandmother is not well, and no one can be sure how much longer she’ll be with us on this earth. So I may not get to see everyone’s faces when they get to see everything I’ve worked on for the shower – I may be miles and miles away, mourning.  But only time knows the answer to how this will all fit together in the cosmic schedule. We’ve done everything we humanly can to prepare for “the worst”.

I will go radiantly on, preparing those little details that bring me so much joy. I can enjoy them now, and everyone can enjoy them at the shower. Maybe I’ll be there to see all the pieces come together, maybe I won’t. It’s an unknowable outcome that we are walking toward one day at a time. Until then – and even after - there’s no reason I can’t keep going on as planned and finding joy in the journey.

I know, I talked all about how awesome this weekend would be and never really explained why. So here’s a list of things that are way better than good about this weekend. Some of them are too amazing to be on the “good things” list but I don’t have a list of “things that are so amazing I can barely stand it,” so this will suffice.

1. My new TV is everything I hoped it would be, and I don’t even have HD cable/blue ray hooked up to it.

2. Spent the entire weekend touristing about with my good friend, Ginevra de’Benci, who came to visit from Utah so she could be there for when I…

3. Made sacred covenants with my Heavenly Father. An experience that is totally worth a full post of its own, but is so beautiful I don’t think words can really do it justice. Maybe some pictures of me afterwards will help you see how I felt.

4. Finally experienced Georgetown Cupcakes and only had to wait in line 20 minutes (ish) to get the cupcakes. They were pretty good.

5. Also finally got to meet my friend C’s amazing boyfriend only to have him propose to her 24 hours later. I know this has nothing to do with me, but I’m still ridiculously happy for her.

6. Um, potatoes. We had so many – and I am so happy that I have yet to run out of them. I have that irrational fear that I’ll just run out – like tomorrow, and I still have a paper grocery bag full of them.

7. Also, pumpkins. Another new one has appeared since the last update and I’m really pleased. Hopefully this means we’ll have at least one to carve for Halloween (1/4 would be a failing grade, but I would be happy with that).

8. I cleaned out my closet this weekend since I had some extra time off on my hands. It’s a wonderful feeling to have all of my stuff in order.

Pictures anyone? Here we go:

The National Cathedral is one of my absolute favorite places in DC. The weather was absolutely perfect when Ginevra and I were there.

I’d never been to the observation gallery before, but it was a great day to do it. The views were spectacular.

The view of the Bishop’s Garden and gazebo from the observation gallery:

The carillon tower from the observation gallery:

The first potato from the garden! (photo by Lady Shutterbug):

Me, doing the “we grew potatoes” happy dance (photo by Lady Shutterbug):

Lady Shutterbug with some baby potatoes:

The chupacabra cucumbers we grew. No stinking idea how they managed to turn orange but I blame the squash/pumpkins nearby and their pollen. They looked like cucumbers inside, but they look mighty frightful on the outside. There’s probably an object lesson there.

The little stowaway we found in our garden (photo by Lady Shutterbug):

**I make it a point not to do this very often because things like this get old really fast, but once I started writing I just couldn’t stop. So maybe now that it’s out, I’ll be able to just let it go. I’m hoping it makes you laugh because odds are high I’m being a giant hypocrite by even posting it. But I’m really quite happy to not be walking around with all this bitterness in my mind so it’s probably a good thing.**

I have stopped all twitter updates from being sent to my phone for the time being. And by all I mean 98% because some people I just can’t detach from. Don’t think of this as me not loving you enough to keep your updates from coming to my phone. Think of this as me being WAY TOO clingy and co-dependant with the people I still get updates from. It’s probably not a list you want to be on because that probably means I also stand outside your window and watch you update twitter and nearly pee myself waiting for the text to come.  Gosh, I WISH I had that kind of free time.

I started by stopping updates from people I didn’t know in real life. But then I realized how many people I know use twitter as EITHER an “I updated my blog go see” which I already know because I follow you on google reader and I’m really not any more inclined to think your post was good/interesting/worth reading just because you’re nagging me about reading OR they use it as another place to vent. Seriously, if all you send me (well, twitter) is “this sucks, that sucks, or (insert long string of curse words here)” then I really don’t need that. Sorry you seem to be having a bad time of um…life…but your negative attitude isn’t making things easier/better for you, is it? Cause if it is, you haven’t tweeted about that lately. I seriously want to give out gold stars to people who are always whining/moaning/complaining on twitter and they randomly tweet something nice or happy. So I decided to just get rid of (almost) everyone.

But it’s a scary thing for me to detach from the twitter updates like that since I’m now convinced I will miss out on EVERYTHING important that goes on. Something I know about us – meaning you and everyone else I know in real life – is that we suck at actually communicating. Like I’m 98% more likely to blog or tweet about something important than I am to call up my BFFs and tell them about it. And forget e-mail – I think I know literally 3 people who respond to e-mail with any sort of regularity, when they get around to it, if they feel like it. I actually have better results with “snail mail.”

And maybe I’m just getting old (ha!) but I’m increasingly MORE annoyed with Facebook on a daily basis. If I decline to attend an event I STILL get daily messages from that event creator about the event I have literally NO interest in attending. Seriously, I’m not going to vote for you to do anything if you have to message me EVERY DAY and ask me to vote again. I’m just going to de-friend you. And I’m really sick of mass Facebook messages because when you click reply, the default is “reply all” so I have to read a reply (or just get a notication about the reply) from all 80 of the other people who don’t realize they’re messaging everyone else too. 

I don’t want to come see your girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/cousin/uncle/brother/neighbor’s band perform. I don’t want to vote for you (or some random person you know) to get on the next season of Real World. Maybe I AM really excited about your engagement/pregnancy/new house/new kitten/new puppy/new nose but I’m at the point where I don’t want to tell you because it means getting a notification about EVERYONE ELSE who’s also really excited and posted after me, or posted on something I like. I mean…really? It’s like being punished for doing something nice.

And while we’re doing nice things, be extra nice and make sure to upload your pictures ASAP - so everyone can stop nagging you at parties to upload them - but don’t tag me in them. If I love a picture, I’ll tag myself. If not it ruins my whole day while I have to scramble to untag myself before anyone can see that you posted an ugly picture of me. If you’re not sure if I’ll like it, here’s a clue – I hate 98% of pictures that are taken of me. Yes, yours fits in that category.

And while we’re on the subject, exactly how often does iTunes update their terms and conditions? Because every time I want to buy a song I have to accept new terms and conditions. And I’m 99% sure this has happened to me two days in a row.

For the record, if I can’t read your full post in my google reader, I don’t subscribe to your blog anymore. Also, if you require word verification for me to comment on your blog, I won’t be commenting unless you write something really stellar and literally not one other person has already commented. I don’t care how much spam you get, I promise I get more, I just have a better filter than your word verification. Do you know WHY I won’t play the word verifying game? Because I read your blog at work and our internet, or computers, or whatever I should be blaming are so old that by the time I put in the stupid words, my username, and password so I can take credit for my comment something blinks or fails and I have to do the whole thing all over again. And if you tell me just to wait till I get home to my reliable connection/technology then you’d better not want that comment very badly because I really won’t remember. I love you, but it’s not happening.

Neither is LinkedIn. I’m sure it’s a great networking tool that has awesome potential to get me that perfect job where I get paid millions of dollars but never have to get out of bed before noon, never have to get dressed except when I want to, never have to do anything more than show up and play around on the internet doing whatever I feel like doing, and then leave early to play with my friends after I take a 2.5 hour lunch break to plan what we’ll do when we leave early and where I have a personal assistant at my beck and call but I’m a little too busy with the job I actually have to worry about trying to get recommendations, give recommendations, accept friend requests, and build my “I’m a rockstar so hire me” profile. If you think recruiters have the time to play around on LinkedIn looking for candidates while they’re getting 200 applications for an EA position they posted on Craigslist, you’re pretty much unglued. I’ll get around to accepting your request when I remember (but odds are higher it’s because they just sent me so many e-mails I couldn’t take the pressure anymore) cause I know YOU think it’s important and somewhere inside I see the potential for awesome. I just know it’s not really there yet.

And don’t get me started on the discount luxury goods “members only” websites. I’m not earning you $10 that’s only going to amount to a drop in the bucket for your $200 jeans which, I might add, are not any cheaper because you’re a member. Make the investment and suck it up or skip it all together. Just leave me out of it.

Last but not least, I’m still bitter that the new iPhone update doesn’t actually let you delete things from your gmail account, you’re forced to archive your mail. I hate archiving e-mail, I LIKE deleting things, I don’t need those Facebook/Twitter/LinkedIn reminders hanging around.

Basically, if you thought you could win at the social media game, you can’t ( at least not on my terms). So if you’d like to ostracize me digitally for this, go right ahead. I’m aware I commit about75% of the sins mentioned here so I’ll try to do better.  I’m also aware there are settings to change some of the things I mentioned above but I ranted anyway because that’s what a rant is about.  Probably now you should blog/Facebook/Tweet or something about how I’m totally lame and don’t understand LinkedIn. And then send me an e-mail about it, which I’ll get really angry about and start to respond to and then get distracted by something else and forget.

Okay, so one more thing to add to the list of secrets that I’ve been keeping from my royal subjects is the fact that I am moving. The details of this move will still remain secret because I don’t know anything concrete yet – except that it’s definitely happening. Not this month. Maybe (and that would be a big maybe) next month. But probably not until the month after that. Or the month after that. Aaah, like I said, nothing is concrete. Well, except that it’s definitely happening and that I’m moving in with Alex Cabot. Which means I’m not moving out of state (at least not this year). Okay, but that’s REALLY all I’m telling you. Gosh, you all are demanding.

Anyway, I am in that stage of knowing that a move is imminent where I am dreaming about all of the amazing nesting opportunities that are coming my way. And what’s a good daydream without a little bit of absurdity?  I mean, I think I should probably take a page out of my hero Nicole’s book and try to get Alex to agree to installing a ball pit on our porch (assuming we get one) – or maybe I can take things up a notch and we can actually just have a ball pit instead of a couch. We can arrange the loveseat and chair around it, and then pretend not to notice when people come to visit and are all “but where is your couch?” and we can be all “what are you talking about? just sit in the ball pit.” and it will be awesome because no one will have ever lost bodily fluids in our ball pit unlike the ones at kiddie places.  Except that I think I will at some point really want a couch. Maybe the porch really is the best place.

All ridiculousness aside, I’m daydreaming about the awesomeness which will definitely occur in the apartment. Art projects and craft projects and all sorts of adorable things for decorating with. Maybe if I can’t sell Alex on the idea of a ball pit I can get her in on the idea of a craft nook. Oh my gosh the stellar organization projects that I could get into here are just about making my head explode.

Of course these ideas will really run wild once I can get into the actual dwelling where Alex and I will be living and see what I really have to work with. Until then I can dream and dream some more. And try not to give in to the hardcore Five Guys craving that I’m having because I never actually enjoy burgers after I’ve eaten one, it’s just while I’m eating it that it seems like a good plan. Also I don’t want to lose my parking spot.

I cleaned out my google reader today by unfollowing people who haven’t posted in ages or who I usually just skip over and it feels so good (friends were exempt from the recent posting rule). Next up will be my twitter account and deciding whose updates are worth having  sent to my phone.

For the record, I don’t have any other secrets I’m keeping from you all. Except for where we’re going for the Queen of the Pirates’ bachelorette party, because that’s not really a secret it’s just a surprise.

I am in that jumpy, excited state of being wherein the slightest things are liable to make me clap my hands for joy. Or possibly explode. This kind of energy is awesome fodder for my OCD – I keep checking and rechecking and rerechecking on everything just to be sure. I’m also incredibly productive.

My TV is en route – allegedly for delivery tomorrow but it’s still in California last time I checked so I’m having trouble believing I’ll actually get it tomorrow. Which is totally fine with me because now I’m paranoid that it will not actually be delivered since no one will be home and I hope they wouldn’t do something so foolish as to leave a TV on my porch. Oh my gosh, but what if they would? (Check, recheck, rerecheck)

I’ve mailed every last invitation for The Queen of the Pirates’ bridal shower and am so happy to have that off my list. The postal service is just not my friend. Now I can focus on more important things like, “how many kinds of baked brie would equal too much baked brie? and how many quiches?”

Additionally, I’ve enjoyed the past few days of solitude while The Empress Dowager and Emperor Emeritus have been away.  I came straight home from work on Monday to bask in the empty house and soak up the quiet. It was totally amazeballs and provided me with a lot of time to just sit and think. I’ve really needed that – like really, really needed it.

So I think I’ll be spending tonight in the quiet again. I will be so spoiled when my parents get home, as much as I love them, it will be a rough adjustment.

I just keep waiting for Thursday night when Holly will get here and my weekend will start. Because this weekend will be so amazing I’m not sure I can stand it.

This morning I bought a TV.

Actually, the way it happened was I ordered new clothes. And then I thought about how I’ve been planning to buy a new TV for so long and I might as well start researching and comparing. But then I found a good deal which was WAY better than the mental budget I had set for myself. Like %50 better.

So I had to call in an expert because I don’t know about TVs. All of those letters and numbers become jumbled in my head and I honestly don’t care to do the research myself because I will not store that knowledge since it will be outdated in 5 minutes anyway. And so I was happily embracing the fact that this is one of those times when I really need a man in my life when I realized that the “man” I wanted for this situation was actually a girl. Typical.

I consulted B, who is my go-to for tech purchases because she not only stores all of the important information about them but she also is able to convey that to me in a way that makes sense. She knows that when I ask, “does that matter?” I’m not actually asking for a description of why it matters.

So with B’s recommendation and my bank account’s assistance, I bought the TV.

And of course then I was in a panic. Because it wasn’t even 9:30 yet and I had just spent all this money. Because even though I got a good deal, I got a good deal on a TV (HD no less) and a TV still costs as much as a TV costs AND I had just spent money on clothes AND oh my gosh that’s a lot of money for a Monday morning.

But of course, B was right there (well, not literally, she was there on gchat) with me insisting it would be okay because new TVs are awesome incarnate (not her exact words) and naturally E backed her up and reminded me that this was a long-term investment (also not her exact words) and I would not regret it. Which I agreed with but still was feeling panicky  until B said:

 ”everytime i buy a new tv its to celebrate how awesome my life is”

At which point I suddenly felt calm about the whole thing. Because my life is really awesome, especially this week, and I think buying a TV isn’t maybe the most fitting congratulations gift I could get myself for this occasion but it’s still pretty awesome nonetheless.

I can buy a TV and enjoy it because I spent less than what I was planning to spend on a TV, I have the money to do it and so won’t be going into debt to do it, and I don’t have any credit card debt anymore so I don’t have to feel guilty about spending money that I already have on things that I don’t really need but sure would enjoy having. Besides, I am awesome these days and totally deserve a TV to commemorate that.

Also, the TV shows are coming back very soon and it will be great to be able to watch them on my nice new TV from the comfort of my bed. Oh man, snuggling into bed for Criminal Minds? Yes, please.

Baby pumpkin!

I apologize for the random hipstamatic shots galore – but not really.

So about this baby pumpkin – he has quite the story to tell. He is, you see, something of a miracle baby. But to explain that I have to admit that I’ve been keeping secrets from you all. I am such a no-good secrets keeper I don’t even know why you read my blog. But consider this part 2 of my confessions.

So you might be all, “Oh, hey there pumpkin vines…I can’t help but notice you’re not in the garden with the rest of Kate’s plants.” at which point I have to confess – I miiiiiight have planted some pumpkins in my front yard too. Because, if you don’t know me you may not know that I have the anxieties realbad when I want something. When good things happen I keep thinking there’s no way they’re real. So I planted pumpkins galore thinking maybe one pumpkin would actually happen.

Now the landscapers hate me because they cannot get any work done for all the pumpkin vines that have taken over our yard. Which I suppose is inadvertently confession #2 – yes, we have a landscaping service and no, I’m not going to make excuses about it except to say that we no longer even own a lawnmower so we couldn’t do it ourselves if we wanted. Just don’t ask me which came first.

Anyway, yes. Pumpkins galore. I knew full well the vines would take over, but I didn’t care, not even a little. But in my zeal for the punkins I somehow got a little behind on my pest control and we ended up with bores. These things are every bit as nasty as they sound like they could be. You can see evidence of the infestation on these vines:

Yeah, that shouldn’t look like that. Or like this:

So what can be done? Well you could give up. Or you could do a complicated extraction procedure.

Yes, there are actual grubs that grow inside the vines. It’s a disaster of epic proportions. Thankfully Lady Shutterbug’s father (Papa Shutterbug) is the plant whisperer and knows everything that can go wrong with plants and how to fix it. He gave us instructions  on how to get the grubs out and we spent a long time painstakingly cutting open the vines, picking out as many grubs as we could and then burying the cuts.

Naturally, my super secret front yard pumpkins were not immune to the bores. But because I had been spending so much time observing coronary artery bypass graft (CABG) surgery I thought, “why not just cut the infected part off and let the vines fill in the missing roots?” because in my mind, plant roots are like veins. When you do a CABG you take a vein from the leg to do the bypass and the veins in the leg form a compensation pattern. I figured my pumpkin vines might be smart enough to do the same thing. It was risky, but better than just letting them die.

I’ll admit the next few days were really gut-wrenching. The extracted vines suffered a lot – but they kept growing (like whoa – pictures to come) and generated more pumpkins. The bypassed vines didn’t really appear to suffer at all – but they didn’t keep growing either, at least not at first. But they did produce a TON of flowers, which I figured meant pumpkins might come – but I also was worried that without the initial root system the plants wouldn’t be strong enough to bear fruit.

And yet, this morning I found not one but two baby pumpkins. I know only time will tell and that these little ones may not survive but I’m cheered by their presence regardless.

Sadly, the pumpkins that had grown before the bore infestation did not make it – their stems were infected. Here are some glamour shots of King Simba:

I’m certain if I had cut him open there would have been grubs inside : (

Here’s Hannibal still on the vine, but he has since left us:

Now it’s okay to be sad about our first two pumpkins being gone, but you should be happy because we have hope! Here’s a newbie (still not named) that came post-bores:

We also have another one in the backyard who hasn’t been named (or photographed) yet. I think this one (above) should be named Leah (cause I’m a total creeper and you might be too if you know where I got that name. It’s from a reality show, though the origin was the Bible). Lady Shutterbug will get to name the other one, and after I’m certain the front yard babies are going to make it I will name them too.

So the bottom line is that if you’d like to send good vibes/jubjub/energy/thoughts/prayers/burnt offerings (please no) toward our pumpkin crop, it would be much appreciated. And if you’d like to see the rest of the garden, here are some shots of what it looked like two weeks ago:

Sweet potatoes:

Squash:

New baby dill:

Carrots and Zinnias:

Peppers!:

Beans:

Now this picture may have you a little concerned for the potatoes but I can assure you that this is what they are supposed to do:

My big plans for tomorrow are to DIG THEM UP – oh my gosh, excitement. More pictures soon to come!