Spiritual Roadtrip
I promised a wholehearted Sunday post on where I am with my spiritual journey and the issues I am wrestling with.
You all know I wanted to find a church that aligned with my belief system. I wanted to find a church where I could become part of the community, so I could find friends other than my roommates.
I have found that church. And it didn’t take as much searching as I thought it would.
My lessons with the missionaries turned into more than I could have hoped for. I know that making the choice to join the LDS Church is probably not something any of you loyal readers would have predicted for me. But it feels like the place that I’m supposed to be.
I don’t have words to explain all of it, but I want to try. I know that I don’t owe anyone an explanation but you all are my friends and you deserve some reasoning.
Some people have really negative ideas about what it means to be LDS. People believe that it is a cult, that there is some kind of mind control taking place in the conversion process. Others have expressed concerns about how I will change as a person. Am I still going to be the same wonderful and lovable person?
P: When you have to give up your buddhas, can I have them?
Me: I’m not going to have to give up my buddhas.
P: When you have to give up your buddhas, can I have them?
Me: I never worshipped my buddhas, so I’m not going to have to give them up.
P: When you have to give up your buddhas, can I have them?
Obviously, my roommate is joking. Even so, she illustrates a major concern people have.
Yes, this will be a lifestyle change.
Things I won’t do (anymore/ever):
I’m not going to go drink until 5, 6, 7 am and wake up the next morning puking my guts out.
I’m not going to smoke pot with my roommates until I can’t move and end up passing out on the couch while Saw 15 (or whatever number we’re on at this point) blares in front of me and I digest that terrible movie subconsciously.
I’m not going to drink coffee instead of sleeping.
I’m not going to replace coffee with tea as a substitute for good sleep.
Things I will Do (still):
I will keep blogging about my fabulous life in New York City.
I will keep living a fabulous life in New York City.
I will keep hanging out with all of my friends.
I will keep going out with all of my friends, even to bars.
I will keep my open mind and open heart when it comes to the personal beliefs and practices of my friends.
I will keep loving every single one of you, no matter what.
The most important thing I want everyone to understand is that this will not change who I am, who I have always been fundamentally: I’m still going to be the girl who curls up in a big plushy chair with you at Starbucks and spills all the intimate details of her life while you bare your soul to me, so are you really going to quibble over what’s in my cup while I do it?
I will still always be the one you can turn to when a woman walks into said Starbucks with too-tight neon-colored pants on so we can see every roll of cellulite and hair piled up 2 feet on top of her head. You still probably don’t want to turn to me because if we make eye contact we might rudely bust out laughing. I will still laugh with you when she’s out of earshot and blog about it later.
This is the right decision for me right now. I am planning to be baptized in a month or two, and I’m very excited for that. Of course I still have reservations. Mostly I worry about losing friends – which is silly because if they are real friends then they won’t care what religion I am. But the concern is still there.
I also worry about the future. What if I just found a really great group of people in this church and when I move back to VA to start my family I discover that not everyone is as wonderful and welcoming?
And, of course, I have to talk to my parents about this. I want their blessing, but I am unsure of how they might react. I feel like because I am staying within the Christian faith they will accept it more readily than they might my conversion to Hinduism or some religion that rejects everything they know to be true. I anticipate they may have concerns and I hope that I can help them work through those.
Ultimately, I have to make the choice that is right for me. I hope that everyone I love can support me in making that choice, or at the very least come to accept it.
January 26th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
but what about late night coffee at Amphora????
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January 26th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Do you get to have a baptism buddy? I know I can’t be a sponsor or anything but I’d like to be a part of it and support you in any way I can.
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January 26th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
I’m proud of you for being so open-minded and finding someplace you feel like you really belong! I think everyone deserves that, and I hope people won’t judge you for it… There will always be “those people”, but I’m sure those that truly care about you won’t think anything of it, or will at least come around.
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January 26th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Hi. I just recently joined your many followers and I don’t think it could have been at a better time.
I too am on a spiritual journey. Right now I consider myself a Jewish Universalist.
In fact, I am studying Conflict Analysis with the hope of becoming a person who works in some way to facilitate open but respectful dialogue among people of multiple faiths.
“To have a clear sense of one’s uniqueness and to combine that with a willingness to explore and visit other worlds of meaning, without destroying them, are central ingredients in religiosity that is oriented to peacemaking and conflict resolution.”
-My prof, M. Gopin
I hope we get to meet someday! Congrats on your new path.
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January 26th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
This post made me cry a little bit Kate. You are so sincere, open, and honest. I’d like to join in with Erika and become part of your support system. I wish I could be there with you when you are baptized!
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January 26th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
baptism buddy sounds like fun. do they allow ex-catholic pagans who live in sin with their agnostic Jewish boyfriends to come?
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January 26th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Dear Pink Pen,
I am Jenna’s Mom, you are Jenna’s friend, I hope that makes us friends. I admire your courage and sincerity as you have looked for something to improve your life. I know that joining the LDS faith can be challenging in some respects. It is also so full of blessings that can be showered upon your head. I have be a member all my life but I too had to decide if I wanted to truly follow what God teaches. I did and it was the greatest decision in my life. It has not made my life prefect or even easy at times. But it has made it easier to handle those challenges because I believe that now Heavenly Father is with me, supporting me and lifting me up when I really need it. Ward members are just people who are trying to become better people. As you move to VA you will find love and support if you open your arms to them they will to you. What you are learning is true, I know it is true. I add my name to you support group. Carry on; your on the right path.
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January 27th, 2009 at 2:56 am
I am so happy for you! It was so nice to read this post and see that you have found where you belong. I can’t wait to read about your exciting journey and I’m sure I will have questions along the way!
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Kate, I am a friend of Jenna’s and I just wanted to say I am so happy for you! Good luck, I know you will be so happy!
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
Wow, Kate, this is a huge decision and huge undertaking, but I totally wish you luck with it. My uncle is Mormon, along with many people in my family line, so I can definitely say that Mormons are nice, normal people and are overall great- there are a couple of bad eggs, but what religion doesn’t have those? But all of your friends will support you so I don’t think you have much to worry about. And let me know if you want to talk as always
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September 4th, 2010 at 8:54 am
Hey, Kate, after returning from my mission, I guess I’ve just found a whole new part of your life! That’s awesome. You’ll have to let me know where your most recent blogs are, and I’ll follow them
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